Watchtower Society – Clarification No. 200
As a survivor in Armageddon, you must get up early to harvest the giant tomatoes and pumpkins that have grown overnight. When you feel the need to take a nap, you take a real risk, because no one is tired in Jehovah's Paradise. Eternal life on this earth must be incredibly exciting. Harvest tomatoes in the morning, harvest pumpkins at noon, and read the Watchtower in the evening. A wonderful life. And from above you hear the voice of the Leadership Body over loudspeakers. The whole village is equipped with loudspeakers. How beautiful eternal life on this earth is.
In eternal life on Earth, Jehovah's Witnesses also have sex. They have sex forever. But only at night. And only three or four times, because otherwise the earth will burst. Four times sex in eternity. That is not much. But they have sex. And they have fun with lightly dressed girls.
In eternal life on this earth there will also be no cameras and no Internet. Jehovah's Witness will be able to move freely without being photographed. This is the true paradise. No proof, no accusations, no criticism. And forever the leading corporation flies first class. Nobody will talk about child abuse and bleeding to death anymore. Happiness!
And once a year there is a memorial service in the eternal Watchtower Paradise. Then Jehovah's Witnesses go from house to house and laugh their brains out about the religion they've conquered the world with. Then they remember how beautiful it was when the front door was slammed shut in front of them. Oh, this persecution! How beautiful the suffering was for Jehovah.
Whoever does not yet become a Jehovah's Witness suffers from brain.
Oh, by the way. There won't be any bowel movements in Jehovah's paradise because the tomatoes and pumpkins will be so perfect that nobody will have bowel movements anymore. Will the anus of the governing body then lock up?